Take back control..
D I S claimer: AI was not used at any point to help write this document. We can assure you our editor drinks way less water than an AI tool would. Wet Anus Sekta afterall is eco-friendly.
WⒶSZine Vol.2
TODAY WE STEP DOWN FROM THE INTENSITY OF THE FIRST VOLUME. FOR NOW, IF NEED ARISE WE SHALL RESPOND EMOTIONALLY IN A CORRECT MANNER. TODAYS SUBJECT AT THIS POINT OF WRITING IS THEFT. BUT THIS ZINE DOES NOT CONFORM TO STICKING TO ONE SUBJECT.
WHAT IS THEFT? THEFT IN SIMPLE TERMS ALLEDGEDLY IS (INTENTIONALLY) STEALING A LIGHTER FROM A FRIEND, OR STEALING A COUPLE DOZEN APPLES FROM YOUR NEIGHBOURS TREES, WHICH IS CORRECT. THAT IS THEFT BY DEFINITION. WHAT ABOUT STEALING FROM A BIG CHAIN SUPERMARKET? THATS ALSO THEFT BUT IT HAS A SPECIAL NAME ''SHOPLIFTING''. THAT IS THEFT AS WELL THATS CORRECT. BUT ITS SOME SPECIAL SORT OF THEFT WITH A SPECIAL WORD FOR IT. OUR QUESTION IN THIS ZINE IS GONNA BE: CAN THEFT BE MORAL? WE SHOULD ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW CORPORATIONS HOARD WEALTH AND RESOURCES AND TREAT THEIR WORKERS.
Shopliftin': What's so wrong about it?
Not much, it's theft allegedly but alleged by who? The fat cunts losing a lot of of money because of it. The fat fucking cunts that earn money by stealing and hoarding anyways, underpaying and overworking their workers? The fat bastard cunts that have a giant storage of edible food that is then thrown away after expire date because then it's not profitable? Give us a break. We spit and shit on those fat cunts and our main belief is shoplifting is a great form of protest against them and a great form of migraine for them as well.
THE FIVE FINGER DISCOUNT GAME:
This game was invented by Wet Anus Sekta standard cult procedures and doesn't represent the shoplifting scene in general.
Due to it's freakishly long name we will from now on refer to the game as TFFDG.
The rule of the game is to enter the supermarket, and borrow more than you buy.
For extreme players of TFFDG a very stupid and unrealistic examples may be:
-going inside of the store, packing a backpack full of food and alcohol, and then buying a chewing gum on the way out without getting caught.
That last part is the tricky part. How not to get caught? Well you should know this by now, dumb fuck. But for the kiddies getting radicalized reading our scripts luckily we have a couple true and tested methods that work 72% of time. Recognize you will get caught eventually and that is not a problem. If you are young then you have a story to brag about and maybe a mild financial penalty, there are ways around it though sometimes.
Security guards (Police Academy Cop Wannabes)
Read the security guard body language. If he is obviously freshly out of prison, seems to be coked out of his mind and is looking for trouble then comply and refuse to go to the backroom with them. These motherfuckers can and most likely will brutalize you if you allow them to take you to their security backroom (which sometimes do not have security cameras installed).
Show all stolen items in front of other witnesess (supermarket workers and the customers) act nice and allow yourself to be a bit of a bitch and apologize, try to de-escalate and ask to leave.
Avoid that supermarker for a while cause that motherfucker may have a beef with you at this point and it's not worth it.
IMPORTANT NOTES: Depending where you live, if a security guard takes away your freedom of movement (meaning he isn't allowing you to leave freely out of the supermarket) but hasn't found anything confiscated on you or has video footage of it. THEY HAVE NO LEGAL RIGHT TO TAKE AWAY YOUR FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT. Usually the laws in these situations are if a security guard 'Takes away your freedom of movement' they are in their shitty contracts obligated to call the police immediately, they have no legal right to do it. So if you stole but the goods haven't been found then you are practically good to go.
Other security guard body language are, generally wimpy. Don't be a bitch and don't comply with them at all you can tell these idiots to fuck off or just ignore them and leave.
these fucking bastards probably beat their wives as well. We consider them equal to cops.
LETS TALK GEAR:
Not much you need depends on the technique you plan on using, the backpack method is very ballsy and we do not recommend it unless you are an active methamphetamine user. At that point you are invincible and you can do anything and we believe in you buddy.
But in this section we will talk the true WET ANUS SEKTA approved method.
Watcha need? A belt, but not just any belt. This belt was accidentally designed to be the best thieving tool known to our sect but also other sects around the globe. They MAY vary. But we will provide a generic photo of it that you could find in a super posh overpopulated mall easily.
OR! Even better. you may start your practice here. You could enter the populated consumerist trash of the store with pants that fit you well enough without a belt, you can mindgame by looking around like you're interested in random shit, pick up some shirt and then pick up the D-belt (big up D-beat!). If you're nervous or shaky pick up some pants or something also. But the true mindgame is you have to understand and re-program yourself that you are doing anything wrong. Because you are stealing from a thieving capitalist anyways. The mindgame is that you are calm the entire time, on the security cameras you should appear chill as a motherfucker.
Go to the changing room, take a long ass time there. there are no cameras there anyways. At this point put on the belt. It's trash and shouldn't have the beeper tag on it, but if it has it... There are ways around it but it's a subject for another volume maybe.
Anyways just fucking leave the shirt or pants or whatever decoy you took and put it in the pile they have for 'tried on' clothes, this is also great method of mass-stealing socks and underpants. After that just fuckin' leave the place lol.
Congrats you just five finger discounted your first thing. It's usually pretty adrenaline heavy couple times, but if you keep playing TFFDG you should be pretty much used to shoplifting like a normal person. A large amount of people of varying lifestyles shoplift regularly but not enough in the opinion of the WET ANUS SOCIETY collective and worldwide think-thank.
We will shortly go over a few tips 'n' tricks for actually five fingering a store. General shoplifting scene unwritten rules are supermarkets are a fair hit, local markets owned by regular working people shouldn't be stolen from. You may search online for owners of your local supermarket chain and read about them, newspaper articles or maybe they even have a wikipedia or something. Then develop a grudge exclusively for that supermarker owner. This grudge should be bordering on bloodlust, such rage that you may start having feelings of lynching this person. But stop at that limit. Go steal in their shitty supermarket instead.
Shopliftin' 4 Dummies:
AT THIS POINT WE TURN CAPS LOCK ON. WE ARE NOW ESTABLISHING A SERIOUS TONE. SADLY THIS METHOD IN PRAXIS USUALLY ONLY WORKS FOR MEN, THA LADIES SHOULD PRACTICE BAG METHODS.
THIS IS A SERIOUS REVOLUTIONARY TOOL AND A SERIOUS SPORT. THE WORLDWIDE SHOPLIFTING UNION (WSU) IS UNAFFILIATED WITH US, BUT WE STILL FOLLOW THE SAME RULES AS THEM OF NOT ATTACKING LOCALLY OWNED STORES. WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU START WITH SHOPLIFTING!?
THAT MAY BE WHAT YOU ARE THINKING TO YOURSELF RIGHT NOW, BUT FIRST STEP IS ALWAYS FINDING A FAVORITE SUPERMARKET TO STEAL FROM. WE LEAVE IN THIS SHITTY WORLD WHERE EVENTUALLY YOU ARE FORCED TO GO TO A SUPERMARKET SINCE THEY HOARD MOST OF THE FOOD LOCALLY.
ALWAYS SCOUT FOR CAMERAS, THIS SHOULD BE IN YOUR ROUTINE ANYWAYS IF YOU ENJOY SO-CALLED 'SCHIZOPOSTING'. ALWAYS SCOUT FOR CAMERAS, EVEN OUTSIDE SUPERMARKETS. TAKE NOTES, SOME SECURITY CAMERAS MAY BE VERY STUPIDLY PLACED AND ALLOW YOU TO ENTER A 'BLIND SPOT' WHERE YOU CANT BE SEEN ON THE CAMERA SYSTEM. THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE WITHOUT DIRECT VIDEO FOOTAGE OF YOU STEALING THEY HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YOU! FUCK THEM!
example of good blindspots:
NEXT STEP PLAN A SHOPLIFT TRIP TO THAT SUPERMARKET, HAVE A BIT OF MONEY AND EQUIP YOUR D-BELT, YOU SHOULD HAVE A BAGGY SHIRT YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE IN, THE PANTS SHOULD BE MORE BAGGY TO CONFISCATE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE ALSO. IF YOU'RE A SMOKER BRING CIGS FOR THE NERVES.
GO TO THE STORE, NOT EVEN BRINGING A BAG WITH YOURSELF IS A GOOD IDEA CAUSE THEN YOU WILL BE EVEN LESS SUSPICIOUS.
GRAB A CART, OR THOSE SHITTY PLASTIC LITTLE CARTS. IMOPRTANT, HARD TO USE THIS TECHNIQUE WITHOUT SOME SORT OF CART.
GASLIGHT YOURSELF INTO ACTING LIKE A NORMAL CUSTOMER, SEARCH FOR SOME FRUITS OR VEGETABLES BE THERE A WHILE, CHECK OUT IF ANY SECURITY GUARDS ARE PATROLLING AROUND. IF THEY'RE NOT THEY ARE PROBABLY IN THE CAMERA ROOM, WHICH IS SICK SINCE YOU KNOW A BLINDSPOT.
PUT SOME CHEAP FRUITS OR VEGS LIKE BANANAS IN THE CART, AFTERWARDS, PROCEED TO THE ITEMS YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO STEAL.
YOU MAY HAVE A LIST OR YOU CAN METH-FREESTYLE IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR MOOD AND THE CURRENT SITUATION YOU'RE IN. PUT THE ITEMS YOU PLAN TO YOINK BELLOW THE BANANA IN THIS SPECIFIC EXAMPLE.
ON THE WAY TO THE BLIND SPOT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY PICK UP ONE MORE VERY CHEAP THING IF YOU WANT TO AVOID LOOKING SUSPICIOUS, IF YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK GO DIRECTLY TO THE BLINDSPOT, KNEEL DOWN AS IF YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING IN YOUR CART AND WITH ONE HAND LIFT YOUR SHIRT AND WITH OTHER STICK THE ITEMS IN YOUR PANTS, ALL THE WAY, IN THE UNDERPANDS. LET IT TOUCH THE SKIN.
ON YOUR WAY UP FROM KNEELING TIGHTEN UP YOUR D-BELT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. THIS SHOULD HOLD THE ITEMS IN PLACE. WHILE STANDING UP IF YOU CAN SEE YOUR ITEMS STICKING THRU THE SHIRT YOU CAN ALWAYS ARCH YOUR BACK A BIT AND PRETEND TO HAVE SCOULIOSIS, YOU CAN EVEN ENTER THE STORE LIKE THAT IF YOU'RE COMPLETELY FREAKY. ITS EVEN A GOOD IDEA TO ENTER THE SUPERMARKET WITH AN ARCHED BACK AND SCRATCHING YOUR GROIN, AND SCRATCH YOUR GROIN MULTIPLE TIMES WHILE IN THE STORE TO ESTABLISH THATS A NORMAL THING YOU DO AND IT WONT BE WEIRD TO ANYONE WHEN YOU START PUTTING STUFF DOWN YOUR PANTS.
ANYWAYS PAY FOR THE COUPLE CHEAP ITEMS YOU BOUGHT AND LEAVE THE STORE. THAT IS THE USUAL EXPERIENCE. IT REALLY ALL COMES DOWN TO HOW AGITATED THE SECURITY GUARD IS THAT DAY AND HOW CALM YOU WERE DURING YOUR STAY.
trigger warning: youtube link
Obviously inking up and bombing the supermarket chains is a great thing to do because the lame fucks often buff them. Spray and marker their shit anytime, always fair targets. Losing the bastards a lot of money and giving the buffman something to do.
